you

You... yeah you.. im talking bout u :) seeing how hard it is to say it to you.. ill say it here.. I wonder if you knew..  I know its my mistake for ruining my impression.. but I still hope that u would see me in a different perspective.. I missed the times when u wont stare at me awkwardly.. I missed the times where we can just talk like normal friends.. I wanna get to know you better... bring u out for dates.. :) is that too much to ask.. yeah.. you ;)

My life my memories..

Less then a month,

And ill be starting my first year of university,

Excited and sad at the same time,

as.. close friends will be flying of overseas very soon.

Be it, America, Germany, UK, Australia etc etc.

Their presence will be felt..

We may grow old in separate places but out memories last forever..

...

The sentimental part of me often reminisce about how quickly time passes, 

where we all grow up,

even the people i used to hate and envy became one of those treasured friends,

they were all part of my life's story,

regardless of what happened.

It's sad that we are going to live separate lives hereafter.

The thought of it is just so mellow and uncomfortable.

Their eventual absence made me believe that they will successful adults one day.

...

I've made mistakes, allowing temptations to overrule,

Which, after looking back, made me wonder in disgust,

"How could I have done something like that?"

It isn't something that a guy like Joel Lee would do,

A guy with a conscience,

And because of that,

I started the year with guilt.

I apologize if i have done you wrong,

My irrational behavior has caused hurt to u.

I apologize.

...

So CNY just came and go like the wind,

We had a gathering at Gim's place,

Looking at familiar faces with the likes of Han Yang, Teng, Jowayne, Xiang Ming, Jared.. etc

These guys are the jokers of my life, no matter how they bullied me last time.

It's great to actually hear their laughter again, brings me back to our usual 5 Hijau antics

Crazy,Fun,Wild,Gay.. u name it, we've done all that..

Xiang Ming, Fan Kiat, Kia Meng, Chye Yuen

are all leaving soon, and they will not be back very often as air tickets are really expensive in both the States and UK.

Thank God I'm able to meet these jokers before they leave.

...

She came to the gathering too.

It's been bout 2 weeks since we were chatting through What's App,

Our conversations build up since then.

I may be over thinking but I thought that, if done properly

I may have a chance to date this girl when we meet.

But what do you know, I failed, miserably,

Springing out lame topics,

Saw her uninterested face..

I was nervous, what else, haha..

Was disappointed for a few days bout my lame actions,

Now I'm still hoping and praying that she is the right one for me..

Cos she's just the kind of girl im looking for,

Sweet, Capable, Witty, Brazen, Understanding..

It's a package..

But I got a feeling that karma won't let me get a good girl like her..

From my past mistakes..

Demotivating? I know right..

I'll still try though.. hopefully I play my cards right..

If she isn't meant for me, I will accept it God..

U know what's best..

So please guide me..

That's all for today.. See ya till then!