you

You... yeah you.. im talking bout u :) seeing how hard it is to say it to you.. ill say it here.. I wonder if you knew..  I know its my mistake for ruining my impression.. but I still hope that u would see me in a different perspective.. I missed the times when u wont stare at me awkwardly.. I missed the times where we can just talk like normal friends.. I wanna get to know you better... bring u out for dates.. :) is that too much to ask.. yeah.. you ;)

My life my memories..

Less then a month,

And ill be starting my first year of university,

Excited and sad at the same time,

as.. close friends will be flying of overseas very soon.

Be it, America, Germany, UK, Australia etc etc.

Their presence will be felt..

We may grow old in separate places but out memories last forever..

...

The sentimental part of me often reminisce about how quickly time passes, 

where we all grow up,

even the people i used to hate and envy became one of those treasured friends,

they were all part of my life's story,

regardless of what happened.

It's sad that we are going to live separate lives hereafter.

The thought of it is just so mellow and uncomfortable.

Their eventual absence made me believe that they will successful adults one day.

...

I've made mistakes, allowing temptations to overrule,

Which, after looking back, made me wonder in disgust,

"How could I have done something like that?"

It isn't something that a guy like Joel Lee would do,

A guy with a conscience,

And because of that,

I started the year with guilt.

I apologize if i have done you wrong,

My irrational behavior has caused hurt to u.

I apologize.

...

So CNY just came and go like the wind,

We had a gathering at Gim's place,

Looking at familiar faces with the likes of Han Yang, Teng, Jowayne, Xiang Ming, Jared.. etc

These guys are the jokers of my life, no matter how they bullied me last time.

It's great to actually hear their laughter again, brings me back to our usual 5 Hijau antics

Crazy,Fun,Wild,Gay.. u name it, we've done all that..

Xiang Ming, Fan Kiat, Kia Meng, Chye Yuen

are all leaving soon, and they will not be back very often as air tickets are really expensive in both the States and UK.

Thank God I'm able to meet these jokers before they leave.

...

She came to the gathering too.

It's been bout 2 weeks since we were chatting through What's App,

Our conversations build up since then.

I may be over thinking but I thought that, if done properly

I may have a chance to date this girl when we meet.

But what do you know, I failed, miserably,

Springing out lame topics,

Saw her uninterested face..

I was nervous, what else, haha..

Was disappointed for a few days bout my lame actions,

Now I'm still hoping and praying that she is the right one for me..

Cos she's just the kind of girl im looking for,

Sweet, Capable, Witty, Brazen, Understanding..

It's a package..

But I got a feeling that karma won't let me get a good girl like her..

From my past mistakes..

Demotivating? I know right..

I'll still try though.. hopefully I play my cards right..

If she isn't meant for me, I will accept it God..

U know what's best..

So please guide me..

That's all for today.. See ya till then!

Worrying worrying worrying...

9 months of holiday, isn't exactly the best thing to happen in your life. As a friend once said, "Human beings will always wish for something that they don't have." Earlier on in my life, I was impatiently waiting for the holidays to begin.. and now that i am at it, I just want it to end already! Med school, let's just start! All my pals are already onto their degrees and such, and here I am, slumbering over nothing..

But of course I did fill my time during the past few months lah.. 

Currently, I am a volunteer in NASAM (National Stroke Association of Malaysia).. sounds cool rite, but nahh.. its just a small stroke center just the edge of Bukit Baru. I met Sundari and Azian there (physiotherapists) , they are the coolest, whackiest bunch of big sisters I will ever meet. Pictures would be uploaded soon..  

So what do i do there? For the first month, Sebastian and myself, were involved in aiding the patients' physiotherapy sessions. Subsequent months, we were given a HUGE assignment, and I really mean huge, from Mr. Jeff (The center's admin): Due to the lack of volunteers, WE were given the honour to organize a state-level marathon. Great stuff? not really, im not getting paid or anything, but, oh well, its voluntary rite? 

So after weeks and weeks of discussion, letter typing, searching for sponsors, were all set to organize it on the 28th of October. I was all hyped up till i received the news; Ill be going to Paris till the 29TH. Argh, after all the planning done and all the petrol wasted, you telling me i cant go? Oh well, since the plane tickets' were booked and paid for, I have nothing to say or go against, but to leave some of the duties to the others involved, my apologies comrades..

Other than that my whole life has been revolved around Basketball, Badminton and some swimming, okay, it was only once.. however, after learning that it will help straighten my spine, (YES, I have slight scoliosis) I promised i'm all for hardcore swimming... IF im not too lazy =D...

What else but my constant worrying? Lately, I've been worried about EVERYTHING education-wise.

I was worried that due to the over excessive amounts of doctors by the time i graduate (estimately 20000), I would never get a job.. But as a wise old Doctor once said, "Take things one step at a time, you wouldnt know what the future holds, anything can happen" I cant help but agree to those cliche words. Its true, its pointless to keep thinking over and over about the things that may not happen at all. In my heart, " Iin my heart I said, " i'll go through it, no matter what, with God's grace, I'll just follow whatever path He gives me"

So worry less.. and live the present.. no point worrying, just go with the flow.. thats all guys.. take care

My life's story... That's a new name for it.. Looking back at my posts, I was rather embarrassed on how childish i was,often complaining about my ideals, my sadness, my failures... I will not remove them tho, as they are memories of myself.. and i think that's important

BUT NOW...

It seems to me, that it all makes perfect sense.. I was young, not that im old enough to call myself wise, but old enough to understand, why I've gone through all that. To make me learn things the hard way, to make me understand the gravity of what can happen, if i continue to do certain mistakes.

....

Im not your average goody goody guy. Im a person with mistakes, Ive lied to people, Ive hurt feelings, Ive boast with arrogance and I accept all that.

Change, I will become. Change, I will accept. 

Thus, there should be a slight change of tone. Not a drastic one, but from here onward, I shall be more mature with what I have to say.. And I praise God for that...

See you guys soon..

Life i had for a year...

Its been a long time since i last blogged.. a year to be exact, hows my life so far? haha, many things have changed, how Im closer to God, the ever increasing mistakes that ive done, the amount of friends that can pull me out of the shithole.... basically, i have a good life, heres a recap on what happened last year, i was studying A levels in UCSI, got a JPA scholarship to India, decided to appeal, and i got myself here in Sunway doing MUFY for medicine, so, to be exact, i was given a whole new life, i broke up with her, we both knew it was going to happen, our pathways, were difficult and I myself caused her so much heart pain. I felt guilty for a long time, but soon time healed our hearts and we both moved on. Mufy was great, cool teachers, cool pals, averagely ok grades, i cant thank God enough as He has given me a second shot at life. =) Thank you God.. !

Life So Far...

Hey peeps!!,its been a long time since i blogged and well,I've been busy with my life affairs lately
and so lack the time to even play a computer game(thats a lie)
Anyhoots~my last exam paper is tomorrow!Yippee!!!!
But I was very dissapointed with my chemistry paper as I think I have done badly..
I guess I have to prepare for a resit..sobs,RM500.00 gone just like that...aih..

By the way..ive been given a JPA scholarship to india!!!And the course given is Medicine!!!wooo hooo
Wait a minute now,and you shall understand my dilemma for the past few weeks...
The country INDIA,is indeed a famous place for people to take up medicine.
Why?Well due to its humoungous death rates,future doctors fly there to learn
how to chop off body parts, because in India,there is an abundance of them(dead bodies).

NOW HERE'S THE GENERAL MISCONCEPTION

Not all INDIA has quality medical training..
So far theres only two good universities in india..
ONE=Kasturba Medical Centre,Manipal
TWO=Jaya Nehru,Belgaom

These two unis are the best in quality and also in their environments.Hence,these two places are the most conducive to live in India...

NEVERTHELESS,
Lately our Government has a string of save-money-schemes
So instead of sending me to a quality learning ground,
They might just send me to a new and unheard place..

DAMN FRUSTRATING...
Neways,will continue later on..take care peeps!!

Living in Your Past-a memoir

I used to be the kid that will cry at the death of a living being,be it an animal,a relative etc etc...
I used to be that young boy,that will feel sad at the instant someone's being mean at him,
I am the kind of person;that doesn't sleep at all when I realised that I have done a mistake in my life...

From what you can understand,
Im always living in my past,
Never letting go of it,
Constantly rewinding in my head,
This is why i feel depressed all the time,
Trying to find all the signs,
To put an end to this misery of mine.

I have to let go,
I have to learn how to give it all away,
And to just remember that life has many things to say,
You just have to know what you want to listen,
I have to move on,
I should forget about the past,
I should bring myself up again,
And stand on my own two feet.

God,
Please give me strength..

Reminiscing about the past is a dangerous thing;you might get sucked into it...