you

You... yeah you.. im talking bout u :) seeing how hard it is to say it to you.. ill say it here.. I wonder if you knew..  I know its my mistake for ruining my impression.. but I still hope that u would see me in a different perspective.. I missed the times when u wont stare at me awkwardly.. I missed the times where we can just talk like normal friends.. I wanna get to know you better... bring u out for dates.. :) is that too much to ask.. yeah.. you ;)

My life my memories..

Less then a month,

And ill be starting my first year of university,

Excited and sad at the same time,

as.. close friends will be flying of overseas very soon.

Be it, America, Germany, UK, Australia etc etc.

Their presence will be felt..

We may grow old in separate places but out memories last forever..

...

The sentimental part of me often reminisce about how quickly time passes, 

where we all grow up,

even the people i used to hate and envy became one of those treasured friends,

they were all part of my life's story,

regardless of what happened.

It's sad that we are going to live separate lives hereafter.

The thought of it is just so mellow and uncomfortable.

Their eventual absence made me believe that they will successful adults one day.

...

I've made mistakes, allowing temptations to overrule,

Which, after looking back, made me wonder in disgust,

"How could I have done something like that?"

It isn't something that a guy like Joel Lee would do,

A guy with a conscience,

And because of that,

I started the year with guilt.

I apologize if i have done you wrong,

My irrational behavior has caused hurt to u.

I apologize.

...

So CNY just came and go like the wind,

We had a gathering at Gim's place,

Looking at familiar faces with the likes of Han Yang, Teng, Jowayne, Xiang Ming, Jared.. etc

These guys are the jokers of my life, no matter how they bullied me last time.

It's great to actually hear their laughter again, brings me back to our usual 5 Hijau antics

Crazy,Fun,Wild,Gay.. u name it, we've done all that..

Xiang Ming, Fan Kiat, Kia Meng, Chye Yuen

are all leaving soon, and they will not be back very often as air tickets are really expensive in both the States and UK.

Thank God I'm able to meet these jokers before they leave.

...

She came to the gathering too.

It's been bout 2 weeks since we were chatting through What's App,

Our conversations build up since then.

I may be over thinking but I thought that, if done properly

I may have a chance to date this girl when we meet.

But what do you know, I failed, miserably,

Springing out lame topics,

Saw her uninterested face..

I was nervous, what else, haha..

Was disappointed for a few days bout my lame actions,

Now I'm still hoping and praying that she is the right one for me..

Cos she's just the kind of girl im looking for,

Sweet, Capable, Witty, Brazen, Understanding..

It's a package..

But I got a feeling that karma won't let me get a good girl like her..

From my past mistakes..

Demotivating? I know right..

I'll still try though.. hopefully I play my cards right..

If she isn't meant for me, I will accept it God..

U know what's best..

So please guide me..

That's all for today.. See ya till then!

Worrying worrying worrying...

9 months of holiday, isn't exactly the best thing to happen in your life. As a friend once said, "Human beings will always wish for something that they don't have." Earlier on in my life, I was impatiently waiting for the holidays to begin.. and now that i am at it, I just want it to end already! Med school, let's just start! All my pals are already onto their degrees and such, and here I am, slumbering over nothing..

But of course I did fill my time during the past few months lah.. 

Currently, I am a volunteer in NASAM (National Stroke Association of Malaysia).. sounds cool rite, but nahh.. its just a small stroke center just the edge of Bukit Baru. I met Sundari and Azian there (physiotherapists) , they are the coolest, whackiest bunch of big sisters I will ever meet. Pictures would be uploaded soon..  

So what do i do there? For the first month, Sebastian and myself, were involved in aiding the patients' physiotherapy sessions. Subsequent months, we were given a HUGE assignment, and I really mean huge, from Mr. Jeff (The center's admin): Due to the lack of volunteers, WE were given the honour to organize a state-level marathon. Great stuff? not really, im not getting paid or anything, but, oh well, its voluntary rite? 

So after weeks and weeks of discussion, letter typing, searching for sponsors, were all set to organize it on the 28th of October. I was all hyped up till i received the news; Ill be going to Paris till the 29TH. Argh, after all the planning done and all the petrol wasted, you telling me i cant go? Oh well, since the plane tickets' were booked and paid for, I have nothing to say or go against, but to leave some of the duties to the others involved, my apologies comrades..

Other than that my whole life has been revolved around Basketball, Badminton and some swimming, okay, it was only once.. however, after learning that it will help straighten my spine, (YES, I have slight scoliosis) I promised i'm all for hardcore swimming... IF im not too lazy =D...

What else but my constant worrying? Lately, I've been worried about EVERYTHING education-wise.

I was worried that due to the over excessive amounts of doctors by the time i graduate (estimately 20000), I would never get a job.. But as a wise old Doctor once said, "Take things one step at a time, you wouldnt know what the future holds, anything can happen" I cant help but agree to those cliche words. Its true, its pointless to keep thinking over and over about the things that may not happen at all. In my heart, " Iin my heart I said, " i'll go through it, no matter what, with God's grace, I'll just follow whatever path He gives me"

So worry less.. and live the present.. no point worrying, just go with the flow.. thats all guys.. take care

My life's story... That's a new name for it.. Looking back at my posts, I was rather embarrassed on how childish i was,often complaining about my ideals, my sadness, my failures... I will not remove them tho, as they are memories of myself.. and i think that's important

BUT NOW...

It seems to me, that it all makes perfect sense.. I was young, not that im old enough to call myself wise, but old enough to understand, why I've gone through all that. To make me learn things the hard way, to make me understand the gravity of what can happen, if i continue to do certain mistakes.

....

Im not your average goody goody guy. Im a person with mistakes, Ive lied to people, Ive hurt feelings, Ive boast with arrogance and I accept all that.

Change, I will become. Change, I will accept. 

Thus, there should be a slight change of tone. Not a drastic one, but from here onward, I shall be more mature with what I have to say.. And I praise God for that...

See you guys soon..

Life i had for a year...

Its been a long time since i last blogged.. a year to be exact, hows my life so far? haha, many things have changed, how Im closer to God, the ever increasing mistakes that ive done, the amount of friends that can pull me out of the shithole.... basically, i have a good life, heres a recap on what happened last year, i was studying A levels in UCSI, got a JPA scholarship to India, decided to appeal, and i got myself here in Sunway doing MUFY for medicine, so, to be exact, i was given a whole new life, i broke up with her, we both knew it was going to happen, our pathways, were difficult and I myself caused her so much heart pain. I felt guilty for a long time, but soon time healed our hearts and we both moved on. Mufy was great, cool teachers, cool pals, averagely ok grades, i cant thank God enough as He has given me a second shot at life. =) Thank you God.. !

Life So Far...

Hey peeps!!,its been a long time since i blogged and well,I've been busy with my life affairs lately
and so lack the time to even play a computer game(thats a lie)
Anyhoots~my last exam paper is tomorrow!Yippee!!!!
But I was very dissapointed with my chemistry paper as I think I have done badly..
I guess I have to prepare for a resit..sobs,RM500.00 gone just like that...aih..

By the way..ive been given a JPA scholarship to india!!!And the course given is Medicine!!!wooo hooo
Wait a minute now,and you shall understand my dilemma for the past few weeks...
The country INDIA,is indeed a famous place for people to take up medicine.
Why?Well due to its humoungous death rates,future doctors fly there to learn
how to chop off body parts, because in India,there is an abundance of them(dead bodies).

NOW HERE'S THE GENERAL MISCONCEPTION

Not all INDIA has quality medical training..
So far theres only two good universities in india..
ONE=Kasturba Medical Centre,Manipal
TWO=Jaya Nehru,Belgaom

These two unis are the best in quality and also in their environments.Hence,these two places are the most conducive to live in India...

NEVERTHELESS,
Lately our Government has a string of save-money-schemes
So instead of sending me to a quality learning ground,
They might just send me to a new and unheard place..

DAMN FRUSTRATING...
Neways,will continue later on..take care peeps!!

Living in Your Past-a memoir

I used to be the kid that will cry at the death of a living being,be it an animal,a relative etc etc...
I used to be that young boy,that will feel sad at the instant someone's being mean at him,
I am the kind of person;that doesn't sleep at all when I realised that I have done a mistake in my life...

From what you can understand,
Im always living in my past,
Never letting go of it,
Constantly rewinding in my head,
This is why i feel depressed all the time,
Trying to find all the signs,
To put an end to this misery of mine.

I have to let go,
I have to learn how to give it all away,
And to just remember that life has many things to say,
You just have to know what you want to listen,
I have to move on,
I should forget about the past,
I should bring myself up again,
And stand on my own two feet.

God,
Please give me strength..

Reminiscing about the past is a dangerous thing;you might get sucked into it...

College life...

Wassup homies...gosh,its been ages since i ever touched this blog..kinda have a sentimental feel about it though... So lets see,whats new?Well,nothing really.Just that im back in college after the Qing Ming weekend and just found out(well not really) that my Malaysian Studies exam is this THURSDAY!!!yikesss... to keep u guys updated,im studying real hard(you wished) to ace this sub..
Im kinda worried bout where JPA will send me though..What if i have to start all over again in another college?!Haih... Ill let God handle this then... will be back soon..after my exams,so see ya!~

Let's fly..

Gimme a slang,
Gimme a beat,
Gimme sumtin that'll sweep u off your feet,
Am not sure how things may take a lil heat,
Time will heal things,
All you need is creed.

2011...and change is on the way...

There are many things to confess,things i need to forget,things that i cannot continue doing for the sake of my very own future...
What I am going to write are the steps that I will take
With God side by side ,
In order to change my life...

1.I SHALL stop procrastinating and expect great results.
2.I SHALL stop dreaming and start facing reality.
3.I SHALL start loving God even more and stop looking for him only when i need help..(This is actually no.1)
4.I SHALL start loving my family more than ever and cherish the times with them when I am back home.
5.I SHALL start reading the Bible again.
6.I SHALL stop fantasizing about the girl whom I want to be with.
7.I SHALL enjoy college life and finish all my homework and not forgetting to exercise.
8.I SHALL be respected but first,BY respecting myself.
9.I SHALL stop !@#$%^&*!@#$ as it wrecks my spiritual life.
10.I SHALL not look down on myself.
11.I SHALL smile whenever I can and never give up on my way to achieve my ambitions and will not dissapoint my family.
12.I SHALL be responsible from now on, in sense of my actions and self-care.
13.I SHALL have faith in the Lord,that one day,he will bring the right one to me.
14.I SHALL evade from negative sources as I do not want to be impure.
15.I SHALL spread love to everyone and rejoice for the Lord has given us life.=)

I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED



FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.



FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.


FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.




FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.



FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT
THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.


AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MANY E-MAILS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

25 Billion dollars richer for an idea...

Would I be as famous as Mark Zuckerberg i.e. the founder of Facebook?
Never...pffftttt...
Watching 'The Social Network' really opened my eyes,
A simple idea,a seed, can really change people and,not forgetting the world..
The sophistication of that idea well,is a whole different story..
One can say i have this idea and plans to expand it...
But what if,another person takes that idea,and takes it into a whole new direction?
Carrying it to a higher level where normal people like you and me would never think off..
Id say,"Genius" but at some point," Isn't that stealing?"
In the end...who cares,you are already 25 billion dollars richer and all u have to do is pay 65 million bucks to the person u stole that idea from..
Simple?id say yes...

Growing up?

SPM's over...finally...after 11 years of studying in school,the uniforms,the wake-up-early system are finally gone... What'll I miss most,you ask? My pals of course.... Most of us going are our separate ways,different colleges, different people...ohhh im sure ill miss u guys from the bottom of my heart,no matter what nasty/disgusting/homosexual things u guys did to me.... dun worry,im such a forgiving person(oh my...),anyway,Biology was,well pretty not as smooth as i expected it to be,and instead of an A plus..im now just hoping i can get an A minus.. I really need that straight A's for my scholarship...,so God,please have mercy on me=)...
Im going off to college by January 2nd.. That means my holidays are only left with seven days(Darn!!),plus minus from cuzzie's wedding in SG...woo hoo!!Christmas in SG has got to be the best holiday ever..heck its only for 3 days... Oh well,better than nothing rite?
My goodness,how much time has passed....growing up sure takes a lot of hassle but its the inevitable.. I can no longer depend on my parents to do what's right for me..its all in my hands now.. To those out there who i wont be seeing anytime soon...i wish u a blessed life annnddddd MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

To whom it may be,
May not look like what it seems,
You just have to ponder and see,
That He's the key to your dreams.

So look up and never down,
The mistakes you do;never frown,
As the Lord keeps you safe and sound,
The faith in Him is all that counts.

ahhhh.....History??what's that..

Pheeeeeeewwwwww was the first expression i gave when i opened my history paper...why??
Well i could do almost all the essays of course...bt i really have to thank God for giving me a good memory and of course such supportive parents...without them,ill be over-paranoid and stuff..oh how much i love them...
By the way....to cut the long story short...SPM's a quarter way done... so yeah.a big relieve to me as major subs like BM and sej are over!!
Now.....BIO,im going to crush u out of revenge!!!muahahaha..
Hey mel...thx for supporting me all this while and dunt worry la,your dress will turn out nice ok!?hehe...
Anyway,bout 6 days b4 SPM starts...i pretty much did the unthinkable,i confessed my heart out... it aint easy,but i felt i need the guts to do it..
And the reply was...... well quite positive i think... and rather kinda motivating..
So to all those 5 HIJAU boys out there!!!remember theres a REUNION ON THE 22ND....U PAID FOR THE MAKAN SO U BETTER COME...thats all for today,all the best wishes i bid to all of u SPM geeks out there...

p.s. i might be going of to college on the 14th next year,probably UCSI...

From the guy who LOVES spongebob,
JOEL LEE

The Finale~

I still cant believe how much time has passed since i was a kid...
I was just SEVEN mind you... and now 10 years forward,i still couldnt believe all that just passed by with ME not noticing it....
Mum's been asking a lot lately..."Where'd you wanna go for a future study?"
I'll be always saying,"Muuuuum,dont start up on this,will ya?"
Ohkayy.....im not a bad kid....just that its kinda stressful to think bout your future..esp with money involved.. but ive got a plan lately.... if i get that matrix scholarship and work hard to end up in UM.. my mum wouldn need to pay me a single cent..(provided i get straight A's)

Studying is one thing....relationships??ive been always hoping to get married,have a cool wife and kids...but my mum says i aint ready..well it does take some time to mature..but how do i know when??in the end...its up to God for the things i hope is to be decided by him..our world aint the world we see in INCEPTION(a real good movie peeps) where humans get to dream as long as they want and create their own world...if its that easy ppl dont have to work hard to get what they want anymore..just leave it to their dreams..

I stumbled upon this trailer when I was in the cinema..and was hoping it will be an awesome movie...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUx7EhmuxIY&feature=fvst

Disheartened....doing what is fair or what is right...

I've thought to myself,
what should i do
to achieve the almost impossible things in the world........
FATE decides that,thats what my mum would say,
what if Fate doesnt?BUMMER...............

I wont say anymore...
i leave it to God....

And yeah,let me confess something to you, when we meet, i feel real awkward,
something bout' u really makes me feel uncomfortable..
it feels like the air's so dense....

Anyway,
i respect u as a friend,
i hope i can get this jitterbug away from my body so
we could just have normal conversations....sorry
for talking the wrong things MOST of the time..^^

Its now or never....

It's June....
The sixth month of the year...
Mid year exams just passed,
Now SPM's drawing near..
I felt that time is real vicious to me..
But in the end its all up to me,
To make a choice,
To be the person ive ever dreamed on the most
or just continue depending on luck...

WELL guys,me here is in a dilemma,ive not started studying....
And thats a real problem,
coz if i dont,
well im gonna ruin my life and get stuck into form 6.....damnnnn
School starts tmr...semester break ends TODAY!!!!

well on a good note...i pray to God to forgive my whatever wrong doing and pick
me up from sliding down and keep focus on my future...

Therefore theres a list of things i wanna start today itself!!
1.CLEAN UP MY ROOM
2.REVAMP MY TUITION BAG(practically its filthy with candy wrappers)
3.Start mastering EST!!!!
4.Master BIO and SEJ!!

well practically i can settle num 1 and 2 in the short term but 3 and 4 in the long term
so by God's grace...i hope i would be able to make it..

ITS FATHER'S DAY today...!!!

Therefore to all dad's out there,have a great day and being the best dad u could ever be...

in JOEL's grace,LORD we pray....
AMEN...

GLEEKIFIED???

It was on a quiet evening,
A certain
tv advertisement
CAUGHT my eye...

And what do you know...its Glee!!
well,i was rather head over heels about that show...
it made me go nuts!

and before i know it..
im already a gleek by bedtime...

but to tell u the truth,
a few months back i wasnt reli supportive of that show
My frens were like"Hey jo,u watched Glee last nite?"
And ill be like huh??wads dat....
Then they told me that it was like high school musical in a series version

My first impression was ,"I bet its another gay kinda show"

But last week,i was proven wrong....
The show wasn reli much of drama and those choreographed dances
It was more of self-esteem and self realization kinda show..knowing
who u are and what you want in life...

WELL to those guys or gurls out there who thinks glee is another HSM spin-off..
I dare you to watch it,you won regret it i promise..youll laugh
at the very second u watch it,trust me..

Until next time....Seeee ya!

Do words like lambda or imperialism mesmerize you??
To me....imperialism sounds wayyyyy cooler than lambda...to those confused out there,
you may find the word 'imperialisme' in Sejarah text books in the very first chapter.
"How's form 5 so far?"mum asked...
"Full of crap,"i jokingly replied.

To be honest,
It's my last year in high school...

Hence,i feel that i need to end my school year with a bang...
THESE ARE THE LIST OF THINGS IM GOING TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR:

1.have a band
2.get new spike shoes(priority)
3.change my glasses(yen!!when are ya gonna take me out)
4.learn to bball(awesome weh)
5.achieve king scout(log books suck!!)
6.learn to speak CHINESE??
7.study smart for my upcoming exams
8.start building me body(=P)
9.stop wasting too much money on fooddd!(aww man!)
10.PWN SPM...

I guess thats practically it,
before i go im gonna wish u guys out there a happy cny!!
and Gim,that was an awesome party..thx

From the guy who claims Spongebob is gay,
Yours truly,
JOEL LEE

Aaaahhh,,,,,the smell of christmas...

Christmas songs ringing in my ears every day in my mum's shop...
Then i start to wonder....
When was the last time i really enjoyed christmas..
So i sat back and thought back...
It was during my younger years where I was just a mere a child and
really have that christmas light shining brightly in my soul..
But as the years gone by,sadly...its just a day where you go out shouting merry christmas!!
and at the end of the day..the spirit of Xmas just died....

Its the inevitable,as we all teenagers grow up to adults..what most significant to us during
our younger days will eventually be a plain old memory..
This worries me..as adults who have not a bit of a child in them will turn out
to be adults with no life...
Im afraid ill be one of those men that doesnt enjoy the full priviledge that life or shall i say
GOD has given me by working my ass of in the office every single day...
But think of it..
If every men or women in this world retain a lil bit of their chidhood in them..
u can see that the world would be full of love and compassion,
wars will lesson,arguments will cease..
therefore EVERYONE!!
I URGE ALL OF YOU..TO TAKE THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON
WITH FULL SPIRIT
and please,let that candle shine brightly..!!for GOD..we must....^^